1.
A local FM Radio was running a contest, and I phoned up.The RJ said, “Congratulations on being our first caller, all you have to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our grand prize.”“That's fantastic!” I shouted in delight.“Feel confiden
A local FM Radio was running a contest, and I phoned up.The RJ said, “Congratulations on being our first caller, all you have to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our grand prize.”“That's fantastic!” I shouted in delight.“Feel confiden
2.
A man returns home a day early from a business trip.It's after midnightWhile en route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.The man suspects his wife is having an affair and he wants to catch her in the act.For $100, the cabby agrees.Quietly arr
A man returns home a day early from a business trip.It's after midnightWhile en route home he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.The man suspects his wife is having an affair and he wants to catch her in the act.For $100, the cabby agrees.Quietly arr
3.
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about.He asks his father for advice.The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always workThese are food, family, and philosophy.”The boy picks up his date and they
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about.He asks his father for advice.The father replies: “My son, there are three subjects that always workThese are food, family, and philosophy.”The boy picks up his date and they
4.
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt.His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.“Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagn
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt.His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.“Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagn
5.
The visiting church school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class who broke down the walls of Jericho.
Little Johnny replies that he does not know, but it definitely is not him.
The supervisor, taken aback by this lack of basic Bible knowl
The visiting church school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class who broke down the walls of Jericho.
Little Johnny replies that he does not know, but it definitely is not him.
The supervisor, taken aback by this lack of basic Bible knowl
6.
She ended the letter saying she preferred accommodation as close as possible to a WC.You anglophones will recognize WC as a water closet or toilet. The Swiss innkeeper was not that well acquainted with English, so he took the letter to his friend the par
She ended the letter saying she preferred accommodation as close as possible to a WC.You anglophones will recognize WC as a water closet or toilet. The Swiss innkeeper was not that well acquainted with English, so he took the letter to his friend the par
7.
Ma and Pa were two old hillbillies living out on a farm up in the hills.
Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full.
He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn’t know what to do to empty the hole.
Ma says,
“Why don’t you
Ma and Pa were two old hillbillies living out on a farm up in the hills.
Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full.
He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn’t know what to do to empty the hole.
Ma says,
“Why don’t you
8.
Daddy, how was I born ?
The father answers, ‘Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We s
Daddy, how was I born ?
The father answers, ‘Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
We s
9.
So a man walks up to the department store counter.“Two pairs of underwear please.”The man behind the counter looks at him in disbelief.“Only two pairs of underwear?”“YupI wear one while the other is in the wash.”The man behind the counter looks at him in
So a man walks up to the department store counter.“Two pairs of underwear please.”The man behind the counter looks at him in disbelief.“Only two pairs of underwear?”“YupI wear one while the other is in the wash.”The man behind the counter looks at him in
10.
She started thinking about her grandparents… but what about her grandparents' parents? And their parents?Thoughtfully, she asked her mother, “Mom, where do people come from? I mean, does everyone have parents?”Her mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve a
She started thinking about her grandparents… but what about her grandparents' parents? And their parents?Thoughtfully, she asked her mother, “Mom, where do people come from? I mean, does everyone have parents?”Her mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve a
11.
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman enteredShe was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from herThe young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare & walked directly
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman enteredShe was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from herThe young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare & walked directly
12.
“Follow me son”, the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of peopleThe father added, “First, we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.”And they did.“Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times w
“Follow me son”, the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of peopleThe father added, “First, we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.”And they did.“Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times w
13.
Yesterday afternoon, my Mother-in-law narrowly escaped injury when the aircraft she was piloting was forced to make an emergency landing in a rural area because of bad weather.The CAA (Civil Aviation Authority) issued a preliminary report, citing pilot er
Yesterday afternoon, my Mother-in-law narrowly escaped injury when the aircraft she was piloting was forced to make an emergency landing in a rural area because of bad weather.The CAA (Civil Aviation Authority) issued a preliminary report, citing pilot er
14.
An arab and his wife are at mid point on a long trek across the desert when suddenly their camel sits down and refuses to get up.The arab beats it with his stick, pulls with all his strength on the reins, swears at it, and invokes Allah's help. All to no
An arab and his wife are at mid point on a long trek across the desert when suddenly their camel sits down and refuses to get up.The arab beats it with his stick, pulls with all his strength on the reins, swears at it, and invokes Allah's help. All to no
15.
Desmond, who was a real town dweller, drove his car into a ditch when out on the country roadsLuckily, a local farmer came was passing by with his big strong donkey called Dobbin.He hitched Dobbin up to the car and shouted loudly, “Pull, Dolly, pull!” Dob
Desmond, who was a real town dweller, drove his car into a ditch when out on the country roadsLuckily, a local farmer came was passing by with his big strong donkey called Dobbin.He hitched Dobbin up to the car and shouted loudly, “Pull, Dolly, pull!” Dob
16.
Most people know me, but don't know my story.At the age of 3, I watched my father leave.I attended four different high schools and struggled with dyslexia, making my education more challenging than it is for most.Eventually I left high school without earn
Most people know me, but don't know my story.At the age of 3, I watched my father leave.I attended four different high schools and struggled with dyslexia, making my education more challenging than it is for most.Eventually I left high school without earn
17.
A balding, white haired man from Chebacco Lake in Florida, walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriendThe jeweler looked throu
A balding, white haired man from Chebacco Lake in Florida, walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriendThe jeweler looked throu
18.
She's looking to make fillets for dinner and asks the guy behind the counter for a suggestion.“I'd recommend this right here, ma'amIt's new to the market.”“What kind of fish is it?” She asks.“It's dam fish, ma'am.”The pastors wife abruptly says“How dare y
She's looking to make fillets for dinner and asks the guy behind the counter for a suggestion.“I'd recommend this right here, ma'amIt's new to the market.”“What kind of fish is it?” She asks.“It's dam fish, ma'am.”The pastors wife abruptly says“How dare y
19.
There, standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water.A passer-by stopped and asked him, “What are you doing?”“Fishing.” replied the old man.Feeling sorry for
There, standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water.A passer-by stopped and asked him, “What are you doing?”“Fishing.” replied the old man.Feeling sorry for
20.
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car.
Another hunter approached pulling his along too.
“Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something… but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction.
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car.
Another hunter approached pulling his along too.
“Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something… but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction.
21.
A little boy was in a relative's weddingAs he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side).While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roarSo it wen
A little boy was in a relative's weddingAs he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side).While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roarSo it wen
22.
One of the priests said, “Sometimes it feels like such a burden to always be the one who listens to other people's problems – I can only talk about my sins with the bishop, and he just visits once a year…”The others nodded in agreementSuddenly, one of the
One of the priests said, “Sometimes it feels like such a burden to always be the one who listens to other people's problems – I can only talk about my sins with the bishop, and he just visits once a year…”The others nodded in agreementSuddenly, one of the
23.
A farmer had just gotten a new rooster for his hens and the old rooster of many years was worried he would be replaced.
However, he had a cunning plan on dealing with this young rival.
He went up to the new rooster and said, “Right, I’ll make you a
A farmer had just gotten a new rooster for his hens and the old rooster of many years was worried he would be replaced.
However, he had a cunning plan on dealing with this young rival.
He went up to the new rooster and said, “Right, I’ll make you a
24.
Every day Nasreddin went to beg for alms in the market, and people used to make fun of him by playing the following trick:They would show him two coins, one worth ten times more than the other, and Nasrudin would always choose the smaller coin.The story w
Every day Nasreddin went to beg for alms in the market, and people used to make fun of him by playing the following trick:They would show him two coins, one worth ten times more than the other, and Nasrudin would always choose the smaller coin.The story w
25.
After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket.He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.The fisherman says to the warden, “I did not catch these lobsters, they are my
After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket.He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license.The fisherman says to the warden, “I did not catch these lobsters, they are my
26.
A priest was sent to a very small church in the backwoods of AlaskaAfter a couple of years the Bishop decided to pay the priest a visit to see how he was doing.The priest said that it was a really lonely job and that he didn't think that he could have mad
A priest was sent to a very small church in the backwoods of AlaskaAfter a couple of years the Bishop decided to pay the priest a visit to see how he was doing.The priest said that it was a really lonely job and that he didn't think that he could have mad
27.
The husband, who is the one behind the wheel, asks, “What's the problem, officer?”Officer: “You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.”Man: “No sir, I was going 65.”Wife: “Oh, HarryYou were going 80.” (The man gives his wife a dirty look.)Officer: “I'm also
The husband, who is the one behind the wheel, asks, “What's the problem, officer?”Officer: “You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.”Man: “No sir, I was going 65.”Wife: “Oh, HarryYou were going 80.” (The man gives his wife a dirty look.)Officer: “I'm also
28.
Two guys were discussing life in general over drinks one night.“My grandfather lived to be 96.”“Ninety-six? What finally got him?”“Liquor and women.”“Well, that just goes to show ya,” snickered the one guy, “both will get you in the end.”“Well actually, n
Two guys were discussing life in general over drinks one night.“My grandfather lived to be 96.”“Ninety-six? What finally got him?”“Liquor and women.”“Well, that just goes to show ya,” snickered the one guy, “both will get you in the end.”“Well actually, n
29.
A mobile phone on a bench rings, and a man puts the phone on speaker and begins to talk as he puts on his golf shoes. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.Man: “Hello?”Woman: “Honey, its me. Are you at the club?”Man: “Yes.”Woman: “I'm at the mall n
A mobile phone on a bench rings, and a man puts the phone on speaker and begins to talk as he puts on his golf shoes. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.Man: “Hello?”Woman: “Honey, its me. Are you at the club?”Man: “Yes.”Woman: “I'm at the mall n
30.
Queensland farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favourite bar, drinking beer.Jim turns to Bob and says, “You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education.Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college, and sign up for some classes.”
Queensland farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favourite bar, drinking beer.Jim turns to Bob and says, “You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education.Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college, and sign up for some classes.”
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