A teacher is writing on board Funny jokes 06

1.

Funny Jokes

A teacher is writing on board and suddenly students laughsTeacher: “Why did you laugh?”Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your corset.”Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.”Boy 2 laughed… Teacher: “Why did you laugh?”Boy 2: “I saw your cors



2.

Funny Jokes

Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now passed-away Prince, she happily sat upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat called Alan for companionship.
One sunny afternoon, out of nowhe



3.

Funny Jokes

A man who drank alot was told by his wife “If you ever come home drunk again, I’m going to leave you”.
Regardless, that night he went out to a pub and drank a lot and was sick all over his shirt.
He told his friend, “If I go home like this my wife w



4.

Funny Jokes

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber… He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said,”You died in your sleep Ralph.” Ralph was stunned.
“I’m dead?No I can’t be! I’ve got too much



5.

Funny Jokes

Judi, the blonde, runs crying into the office.
“What’s wrong?” gasps her best friend Carol.
“It’s my boyfriend.” gushes Judi.
“He was working on the engine under the hood of his car when the lid came down and cut off a finger!”
“My god”, shrie



6.

Funny Jokes

Two math professors are in a restaurantOne argues that the average person does not know any math beyond high school.The other argues that the average person knows some more advanced mathJust then, the first one gets up to use the rest room.The second prof



7.

Funny Jokes

She gets out of bed and puts on her shoes.  As she's walking down the hallway to the convent kitchen, another nun looks at her, smiles and says, “Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!”She thought this was a bit odd, but decides to igno



8.

Funny Jokes

A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door.A boy, about 9, opened the door“Is your dad or mum home?” said the farmer.“No, they went to town.”“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”“No, he went with Mum and Dad.”The farmer stood



9.

Funny Jokes

A group of guys, all age 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View Restaurant because the waitresses there were gorgeous, with lovely legs, lovely smiles and and great personalities.



10.

Funny Jokes

The female brain works on a different tangent than male.Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking to my wife about lifeIn-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying.I told her, “Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally depende



11.

Funny Jokes

An elderly couple, a priest, and a doctor walk into a bar
As they are sitting down and drinking, they eventually start talking about conception and the question of
“When does life begin”.
The priest said in the Bible states that life begins at co



12.

Funny Jokes

A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up.
As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life.
“Wo



13.

Funny Jokes

Johnny went to confession, at the beginning of Lent….
“Bless me Father for I have sinned.
It has been 3 months since my last confession.
In that time I have disobeyed my parents nine times, missed Sunday Mass once, had impure thoughts, oh,
abo



14.

Funny Jokes

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking marijuana and appeared in court.
The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, I’d like to give you a second chance.
I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug us



15.

Funny Jokes

One day, an elderly man Jimmy was walking down Main Street when he saw his old buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup.Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.“Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!”“Mary gave it to me,” Bubba replied.“She gave it to you? I k



16.

Funny Jokes

… after taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape.“You see, ” Carl says “for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command.  Now I can eat something and i



17.

Funny Jokes

Two friends went to interview for the same job.
They were both in the waiting area when the first friend got called for his interview.
The second friend gave him a thumbs-up as he headed into the interview room.
The interviewer reviewed the man’s



18.

Funny Jokes

An Englishman, an American and a Japanese are doing white water rafting, when all of a sudden they spot a huge drop to a waterfall they never knew was there.
They are moments away from plunging over a waterfall to their doom… Suddenly a genie appears.<



19.

Funny Jokes

A Scottish couple decided to go to Spain to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier:Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedul



20.

Funny Jokes

The guy examines the dog's collar and feels his well-fed belly and knows the dog has a home.The dog follows him into the house, goes down the hall, jumps on the couch, gets comfortable and falls asleep.The man thinks its rather odd, but lets him sleep.Aft



21.

Funny Jokes

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problemI have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing.”“What do they say?” the priest inquired.“They say, ‘Hi, we're prostitutesDo you want to have some fun?'” th



22.

Funny Jokes

A guy and a girl meet at a bar.
They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl’s place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again.
The girl h



23.

Funny Jokes

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.The lawyer



24.

Funny Jokes

A little girl and her mother are at church when the little girl starts to feel sick.Her mother tells her to go throw up in the bushes behind the church.When the little girl returns, her mother asks her if she threw up.“Yes,” the girl says.“But I didn't ha



25.

Funny Jokes

A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000 bet.The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron.Anyone who could squeeze one more drop



26.

Funny Jokes

A cat died and went to Heaven.
God met the animal at the Pearly Gates and said,
“You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking.”
The cat thought for a moment and then said,
“All my life I lived on a far



27.

Funny Jokes

When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, God is there to receive him.“WelcomeYou are permitted to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully.”Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asks, “Who really shot Kennedy?”God replies, “Lee Harvey Oswald



28.

Funny Jokes

An Irish painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist.Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Miltown in County Clare, to get him to paint t



29.

Funny Jokes

When God created the dog, he said: “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past.
For this, I will give you a lifespan of twenty years.
” The dog replied: “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten y



30.

Funny Jokes

…  with two large bags over his shoulders.The guard stops him and says, “What's in the bags?”“Sand,” answered Juan.The guard says, “We'll just see about that.  Get off the bike.”The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds n



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