1.
A very poor man lived with his wife whose hair was very long.One day the wife asked her husband to buy her a comb for her long hair so that it can continue to grow well and to be well groomed.The man felt sorry and said he didn't have money even to fix th
A very poor man lived with his wife whose hair was very long.One day the wife asked her husband to buy her a comb for her long hair so that it can continue to grow well and to be well groomed.The man felt sorry and said he didn't have money even to fix th
2.
A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.However he was delayed, so the Priest
A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.However he was delayed, so the Priest
3.
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking marijuana and appeared in court.
The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, I’d like to give you a second chance.
I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug us
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking marijuana and appeared in court.
The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, I’d like to give you a second chance.
I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug us
4.
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display.While he was there, another customer walked in and went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey.He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, “
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display.While he was there, another customer walked in and went over to a cage at the side of the shop and took out a monkey.He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, “
5.
A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport.“These hills are getting steeper as the years go by,” one complained.“These fairways seem to be getting longer too,” said one of the others.“The sand traps seem to be bigger
A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport.“These hills are getting steeper as the years go by,” one complained.“These fairways seem to be getting longer too,” said one of the others.“The sand traps seem to be bigger
6.
Two men are sitting at a bar, slowly sipping their drinks.
After a while, the first man approaches the other man, and sits next to him. “This place is great, isn’t it?” he asks.
The second man, somewhat surprised at the stranger’s remark, replies, “
Two men are sitting at a bar, slowly sipping their drinks.
After a while, the first man approaches the other man, and sits next to him. “This place is great, isn’t it?” he asks.
The second man, somewhat surprised at the stranger’s remark, replies, “
7.
A mother sees her son watching television and says,
“Jimmy! I thought I told you to do the dishes after you do your homework!
Why are you watching television?”
Jimmy replies, “It’s okay, Mom! I haven’t done my homework yet.”
A mother sees her son watching television and says,
“Jimmy! I thought I told you to do the dishes after you do your homework!
Why are you watching television?”
Jimmy replies, “It’s okay, Mom! I haven’t done my homework yet.”
8.
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.
However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and forcefully drags him into his office. The zookeeper then explains to the m
One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.
However, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabs him and forcefully drags him into his office. The zookeeper then explains to the m
9.
Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch.
“Did you get that for your birthday?” asked Johnny.
“Nope,” replied Jimmy.
“Well, did you get it for Christmas then?”
Again Jimmy said, “Nope.”
“You didn’t steal it, did you?”
Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch.
“Did you get that for your birthday?” asked Johnny.
“Nope,” replied Jimmy.
“Well, did you get it for Christmas then?”
Again Jimmy said, “Nope.”
“You didn’t steal it, did you?”
10.
The following is a true story, and this situation supposedly occurred in a real courtroom.
At a trial, an attorney was putting witnesses through an exacting cross-examination, and was taking great delight into forcing witnesses to admit that they did n
The following is a true story, and this situation supposedly occurred in a real courtroom.
At a trial, an attorney was putting witnesses through an exacting cross-examination, and was taking great delight into forcing witnesses to admit that they did n
11.
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.She didn't panic, however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her:“If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow-plow to come by, and follow it.”Sure enough, pretty soon a snow-
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm.She didn't panic, however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her:“If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow-plow to come by, and follow it.”Sure enough, pretty soon a snow-
12.
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop..Right away they go over to the bird section.Gerry says to Paddy, “That's them”.The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them.“Yeah, we'll take four of the birds in that cage up there,” says Gerry“Put them in a paper
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop..Right away they go over to the bird section.Gerry says to Paddy, “That's them”.The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them.“Yeah, we'll take four of the birds in that cage up there,” says Gerry“Put them in a paper
13.
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.He reduces his altitude and spots a man down below.He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you help me?I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.He reduces his altitude and spots a man down below.He lowers the balloon further and shouts: “Excuse me, can you help me?I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know
14.
A man escapes a prison where he has been locked up for 15 years.
He goes into a house and finds a young couple in bed.
He forces the young man into a chair and duck taped him there.
Then he leans over the woman and kisses her neck, then he goes i
A man escapes a prison where he has been locked up for 15 years.
He goes into a house and finds a young couple in bed.
He forces the young man into a chair and duck taped him there.
Then he leans over the woman and kisses her neck, then he goes i
15.
A man, reading a book by candle-light, came across a sentence which stated that men with long beards were fools.This distressed the man because he had a long beard himself.He had always thought the beard made him look scholarly and dignified, but now he b
A man, reading a book by candle-light, came across a sentence which stated that men with long beards were fools.This distressed the man because he had a long beard himself.He had always thought the beard made him look scholarly and dignified, but now he b
16.
Three old ladies – Gertrude, Maude and Tilly – were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation.Suddenly, a handsome young man dressed only in a trench coat approached them from across the parkHe was holding his coat together with his hands and di
Three old ladies – Gertrude, Maude and Tilly – were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation.Suddenly, a handsome young man dressed only in a trench coat approached them from across the parkHe was holding his coat together with his hands and di
17.
Paddy was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuitThe prosecutor opened his questioning with,“Where were you the night of August 24th?”“Objection!” said the defense attorney“Irrelevant!”“Oh, that's okay,” said the Paddy from the witness stand
Paddy was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuitThe prosecutor opened his questioning with,“Where were you the night of August 24th?”“Objection!” said the defense attorney“Irrelevant!”“Oh, that's okay,” said the Paddy from the witness stand
18.
A man runs to the doctor and says,“Doctor, you've got to help me.My wife thinks she's a chicken!”The doctor asks, “How long has she had this condition?”“Two years,” says the man.“Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?” asked the shrink.The m
A man runs to the doctor and says,“Doctor, you've got to help me.My wife thinks she's a chicken!”The doctor asks, “How long has she had this condition?”“Two years,” says the man.“Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?” asked the shrink.The m
19.
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake.He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink.After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,“Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.In a very deep, husky v
A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake.He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink.After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,“Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.In a very deep, husky v
20.
… something that this captain knows all too well.A ship was travelling in a dangerous part of the sea. The captain saw a pirate ship approaching their vessel.The captain yells to his crew, “Men, bring me my red shirt!”The crew brings him his red shirt, h
… something that this captain knows all too well.A ship was travelling in a dangerous part of the sea. The captain saw a pirate ship approaching their vessel.The captain yells to his crew, “Men, bring me my red shirt!”The crew brings him his red shirt, h
21.
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000 bet.The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron.Anyone who could squeeze one more drop
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000 bet.The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron.Anyone who could squeeze one more drop
22.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director, “What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?”“Well…” said the director, “we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director, “What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?”“Well…” said the director, “we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and
23.
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party…After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest roomThose who remained talked about their kids.The first guy said, “My son is my pride and joyHe started working at a succe
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party…After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest roomThose who remained talked about their kids.The first guy said, “My son is my pride and joyHe started working at a succe
24.
The first one married a woman from Minneapolis, and said to her:“When I get back from work, I want the house to be clean and tidy.”He didn't see any changes on the first day, but on the second day the house was clean and tidy.The second brother married a
The first one married a woman from Minneapolis, and said to her:“When I get back from work, I want the house to be clean and tidy.”He didn't see any changes on the first day, but on the second day the house was clean and tidy.The second brother married a
25.
Two bachelors are talking and their conversation drifts from politics to cooking.“I got a cookbook last Christmas,” says the first, “but I was never able to do anything with it.”“Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?” asks the second.“You said itEvery one of
Two bachelors are talking and their conversation drifts from politics to cooking.“I got a cookbook last Christmas,” says the first, “but I was never able to do anything with it.”“Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?” asks the second.“You said itEvery one of
26.
“Mommy,” the little girl asks, “How old are you?”“Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,” the mother replied“It's not polite.”“OK”, the little girl says, “How much do you weigh?”“Now really,” the mother says, “Those are personal questions and
“Mommy,” the little girl asks, “How old are you?”“Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,” the mother replied“It's not polite.”“OK”, the little girl says, “How much do you weigh?”“Now really,” the mother says, “Those are personal questions and
27.
As MrSmith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him.He called for the three men he trusted most, his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman.MrSmith told them, “I'm
As MrSmith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him.He called for the three men he trusted most, his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman.MrSmith told them, “I'm
28.
Little Johnny was visiting a friend of his in New York during the winter.
He and his friend went outside to play in the snow.
After about an hour, his friend’s mother called them back inside and had them remove their galoshes and gloves.
Johnny’s
Little Johnny was visiting a friend of his in New York during the winter.
He and his friend went outside to play in the snow.
After about an hour, his friend’s mother called them back inside and had them remove their galoshes and gloves.
Johnny’s
29.
An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop.
They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said:
Butter – 10 francs.
In respo
An old French lady had a small shop in her village for years until one day a huge corporate supermarket set up across the road from her little shop.
They put up signs advertising their prices, including one that said:
Butter – 10 francs.
In respo
30.
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office.
After his checkup, doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress.
If you don’t do the following,
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office.
After his checkup, doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress.
If you don’t do the following,
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