1.
“In 1942,” he says, “The situation was really toughThe Germans had a very strong air forceI remember,”He continues, “One day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared.”(At this point, several of the children gigg
“In 1942,” he says, “The situation was really toughThe Germans had a very strong air forceI remember,”He continues, “One day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared.”(At this point, several of the children gigg
2.
The husband, who is the one behind the wheel, asks, “What's the problem, officer?”Officer: “You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.”Man: “No sir, I was going 65.”Wife: “Oh, HarryYou were going 80.” (The man gives his wife a dirty look.)Officer: “I'm also
The husband, who is the one behind the wheel, asks, “What's the problem, officer?”Officer: “You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.”Man: “No sir, I was going 65.”Wife: “Oh, HarryYou were going 80.” (The man gives his wife a dirty look.)Officer: “I'm also
3.
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?”
She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.”
“No,” he said, “I mean
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?”
She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.”
“No,” he said, “I mean
4.
The following day, the teacher asked for the first volunteer to tell their story.Little Suzy raised her hand, “My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market.Well, one Sunday we hit
The following day, the teacher asked for the first volunteer to tell their story.Little Suzy raised her hand, “My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market.Well, one Sunday we hit
5.
Three sons left home, said goodbye to their dear single mother, went out on their own and prospered.
Then one day, revisiting together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother on her birthday.
They all loved her dearly,
Three sons left home, said goodbye to their dear single mother, went out on their own and prospered.
Then one day, revisiting together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother on her birthday.
They all loved her dearly,
6.
Hud was staying with his grandfather for a few days.He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, ‘Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'His Grandpa wa
Hud was staying with his grandfather for a few days.He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, ‘Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'His Grandpa wa
7.
A store manager Bob stopped by a small manufacturing plantA store manager Bob stopped by a small manufacturing plant he spotted during his last trip through a part of the countryside in the hopes of gaining another client in the area.However, little did B
A store manager Bob stopped by a small manufacturing plantA store manager Bob stopped by a small manufacturing plant he spotted during his last trip through a part of the countryside in the hopes of gaining another client in the area.However, little did B
8.
Some ecclesiastical gentlemen — a cardinal, a couple of bishops and some others — were waiting outside the Pearly Gates for St. Peter to open up.
He finally arrived, but just they were about to enter heaven St. Peter asked them to wait a moment and let
Some ecclesiastical gentlemen — a cardinal, a couple of bishops and some others — were waiting outside the Pearly Gates for St. Peter to open up.
He finally arrived, but just they were about to enter heaven St. Peter asked them to wait a moment and let
9.
Dear Mother and Dad:
Since I left for college I have been remiss in writing and I am sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further un
Dear Mother and Dad:
Since I left for college I have been remiss in writing and I am sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further un
10.
Two psychiatrists were at a convention.As they conversed over a drink, one asked, “What was your most difficult case?”The other replied, “I had a patient who lived in a pure fantasy world.He believed that an uncle in South America was going to die and lea
Two psychiatrists were at a convention.As they conversed over a drink, one asked, “What was your most difficult case?”The other replied, “I had a patient who lived in a pure fantasy world.He believed that an uncle in South America was going to die and lea
11.
After 37 years of marriage Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary.His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith's multi million dollar home and since the man's lawyers were a little better he prevailed.He gave Edith his now ex-wife ju
After 37 years of marriage Jake dumped his wife for his Young secretary.His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith's multi million dollar home and since the man's lawyers were a little better he prevailed.He gave Edith his now ex-wife ju
12.
Yesterday afternoon, my Mother-in-law narrowly escaped injury when the aircraft she was piloting was forced to make an emergency landing in a rural area because of bad weather.The CAA (Civil Aviation Authority) issued a preliminary report, citing pilot er
Yesterday afternoon, my Mother-in-law narrowly escaped injury when the aircraft she was piloting was forced to make an emergency landing in a rural area because of bad weather.The CAA (Civil Aviation Authority) issued a preliminary report, citing pilot er
13.
Grandpa was showing little Johnny around the farm, and when they come to the corral, he explained,
“That’s a bull and a cow, and he’s serving her.”
A little later on, they saw horses.
The Grandpa said,
“That’s a stud and a mare, and he’s servi
Grandpa was showing little Johnny around the farm, and when they come to the corral, he explained,
“That’s a bull and a cow, and he’s serving her.”
A little later on, they saw horses.
The Grandpa said,
“That’s a stud and a mare, and he’s servi
14.
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party.He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problemA few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party.He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problemA few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
15.
A customer in a restuarant orders a bowl of soup.However, the customer notices that something is wrong.So he calls the waiter over.“Can you please taste the soup?”“What's wrong with the soup?”“Just taste it.”“Why?”“Just taste it.”“Sir, I–““Just taste it.”
A customer in a restuarant orders a bowl of soup.However, the customer notices that something is wrong.So he calls the waiter over.“Can you please taste the soup?”“What's wrong with the soup?”“Just taste it.”“Why?”“Just taste it.”“Sir, I–““Just taste it.”
16.
A chemistry professor wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.“Now, classObserve closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm fir
A chemistry professor wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.“Now, classObserve closely the worms,” said the professor putting a worm fir
17.
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computersHe dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, “Hello?”Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having
The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computersHe dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, “Hello?”Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having
18.
Three friends had a very good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist.
At every bad situation he would always say
“It could have been worse.”
His friends hated that quality about him,
So they came up with a story so horribl
Three friends had a very good friend named Joe and he was, naturally, an eternal optimist.
At every bad situation he would always say
“It could have been worse.”
His friends hated that quality about him,
So they came up with a story so horribl
19.
The bartender said, “You can't bring that monkey in here!”The man said, “Don't worry, he won't cause any trouble.”Within seconds the monkey jumped on the pool table and swallowed the cue ball.The bartender yelled, “Hey, he just ate my cue ballNo one can p
The bartender said, “You can't bring that monkey in here!”The man said, “Don't worry, he won't cause any trouble.”Within seconds the monkey jumped on the pool table and swallowed the cue ball.The bartender yelled, “Hey, he just ate my cue ballNo one can p
20.
A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot.
One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family’s 6-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door a
A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot.
One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family’s 6-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door a
21.
However, his route takes him past a particular corner on which a prostitute is always standing, offering her services.He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.“One hundred and fifty pounds!” she'd shout.“No, f
However, his route takes him past a particular corner on which a prostitute is always standing, offering her services.He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.“One hundred and fifty pounds!” she'd shout.“No, f
22.
The librarian handed the chicken a book and the bird left.Ten minutes later, the chicken returned, tossed the book on the desk and said: ‘book, book, book, book'.The librarian handed the chicken a different book and the chicken left.Ten minutes later, the
The librarian handed the chicken a book and the bird left.Ten minutes later, the chicken returned, tossed the book on the desk and said: ‘book, book, book, book'.The librarian handed the chicken a different book and the chicken left.Ten minutes later, the
23.
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man picks up with the speakerphone on and begins to talk.Everyone else in the room stops talking:MAN: “Hello?”WOMAN: “Hi Honey, it's meAre you at the club?”MAN: “Yes.”
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man picks up with the speakerphone on and begins to talk.Everyone else in the room stops talking:MAN: “Hello?”WOMAN: “Hi Honey, it's meAre you at the club?”MAN: “Yes.”
24.
I would like to share a personal experience I had about drinking and driving.
This might save you the cost and embarrassment of being arrested for DWI.
As you know, people have been known to have unexpected brushes with the authorities from time to
I would like to share a personal experience I had about drinking and driving.
This might save you the cost and embarrassment of being arrested for DWI.
As you know, people have been known to have unexpected brushes with the authorities from time to
25.
Three old women die and go to heaven.
When they reach the gates of heaven St. Peter tells them that they have to answer a question to enter.
Then he asks them which one wants to go first.
The oldest of the three say I will go first and set an exa
Three old women die and go to heaven.
When they reach the gates of heaven St. Peter tells them that they have to answer a question to enter.
Then he asks them which one wants to go first.
The oldest of the three say I will go first and set an exa
26.
If you let me touch your wife’s ass and smack it, i will pay you $100,000 says a guy to his best friend.
His friend gets furious and asks him to mind what he is saying.
Later in the evening the best friend tells this incident to his wife, and she go
If you let me touch your wife’s ass and smack it, i will pay you $100,000 says a guy to his best friend.
His friend gets furious and asks him to mind what he is saying.
Later in the evening the best friend tells this incident to his wife, and she go
27.
The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?”He replies, “Yes, caffeineI can't drink coffee.”“OK, have you ever been in the military service?”“Yes,” he says, “I was in Afghanistan for one tour.”The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra
The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?”He replies, “Yes, caffeineI can't drink coffee.”“OK, have you ever been in the military service?”“Yes,” he says, “I was in Afghanistan for one tour.”The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra
28.
An atheist became incensed over Christmas holiday preparations.
He filed a lawsuit about the constant celebrations given to Christians and Jews while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the l
An atheist became incensed over Christmas holiday preparations.
He filed a lawsuit about the constant celebrations given to Christians and Jews while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the l
29.
Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip when they came upon this great trout brook.
They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super.
At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they
Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip when they came upon this great trout brook.
They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super.
At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they
30.
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered the grave news:“There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt.Prepare yourself to be a widowYour husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”Visibly shak
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered the grave news:“There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt.Prepare yourself to be a widowYour husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.”Visibly shak
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