1.
One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone.
In a worried state, she awakens her husband and they both set off to find the old woman.
Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there’s the mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocio
One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone.
In a worried state, she awakens her husband and they both set off to find the old woman.
Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there’s the mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocio
2.
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed, “Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at homeI want her to know what I go thr
A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed, “Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at homeI want her to know what I go thr
3.
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where a politician happened to appear.
The politician took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
‘Would you mind te
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where a politician happened to appear.
The politician took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
‘Would you mind te
4.
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery.The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.“MrSmith, you're going to be just fine,” said th
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery.The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.“MrSmith, you're going to be just fine,” said th
5.
Once, a long, long time ago, in a small village just outside of some place you’ve never heard of, there was quite a stir amongst the villagers. The villagers, you see, wanted to schedule a race so that they could support their compulsive gambling habits,
Once, a long, long time ago, in a small village just outside of some place you’ve never heard of, there was quite a stir amongst the villagers. The villagers, you see, wanted to schedule a race so that they could support their compulsive gambling habits,
6.
A group of male friends, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch.Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts.Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again d
A group of male friends, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch.Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts.Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again d
7.
Pam and Kate are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.
Pam pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
“What in the heck is that?” asks Kate.
“A condom”, repli
Pam and Kate are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.
Pam pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
“What in the heck is that?” asks Kate.
“A condom”, repli
8.
One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone.In a worried state, she awakens her husband and they both set off to find the old woman.Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there's the mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocious lion!
One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone.In a worried state, she awakens her husband and they both set off to find the old woman.Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there's the mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocious lion!
9.
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower g
One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower g
10.
He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke downDo you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a very strange sound. The n
He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke downDo you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a very strange sound. The n
11.
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:Officer: “License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!”Me: “I assure you, I did not drink anything.”Officer: “Okay, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a high
The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:Officer: “License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!”Me: “I assure you, I did not drink anything.”Officer: “Okay, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on a high
12.
A fox sneaked into a farm and grabbed a prize rooster.
The farmer saw him and raised the alarm and he and his dogs started chasing the thief.
The fox, though he was holding the rooster in his mouth, was running very fast.
“Get him! Get him!” shou
A fox sneaked into a farm and grabbed a prize rooster.
The farmer saw him and raised the alarm and he and his dogs started chasing the thief.
The fox, though he was holding the rooster in his mouth, was running very fast.
“Get him! Get him!” shou
13.
A young wife from Montana had an appointment with her doctor to ask for advice on how to treat her husband's lack of s.x drive ever since his motorcycle accident 12 months ago.“Have you tried Viagra?” the doctor asked.“Not a chance,” the young lady replie
A young wife from Montana had an appointment with her doctor to ask for advice on how to treat her husband's lack of s.x drive ever since his motorcycle accident 12 months ago.“Have you tried Viagra?” the doctor asked.“Not a chance,” the young lady replie
14.
Dave and his wife were working in their garden one day when Dave looks over at his wife and says, “Your butt is getting really bigI bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill and then w
Dave and his wife were working in their garden one day when Dave looks over at his wife and says, “Your butt is getting really bigI bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.”With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill and then w
15.
While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.One of the hillbillies looks at her
While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.One of the hillbillies looks at her
16.
A woman gets cheated by her husband.Devastated, she doesn't know how to continue to live her life.She heard that there's a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decided to go there to consult him.After few days of traveling, walking, climbing, sh
A woman gets cheated by her husband.Devastated, she doesn't know how to continue to live her life.She heard that there's a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decided to go there to consult him.After few days of traveling, walking, climbing, sh
17.
When the manager of a men's clothing store returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.“Guess what, sir?” the clerk said“I finally sold that terrible,
When the manager of a men's clothing store returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.“Guess what, sir?” the clerk said“I finally sold that terrible,
18.
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't mis
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn't mis
19.
A man was telling his co-worker one day that the company was transferring him to Chicago.He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there.When asked why, he replied that he was just too afraid of all the crime even though he would be pas
A man was telling his co-worker one day that the company was transferring him to Chicago.He explained that he was going to quit before he had to move there.When asked why, he replied that he was just too afraid of all the crime even though he would be pas
20.
One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone.In a worried state, she awakens her husband and they both set off to find the old woman.Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there's the mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocious lion!
One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone.In a worried state, she awakens her husband and they both set off to find the old woman.Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there's the mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocious lion!
21.
A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay upWhat should I do?”“Do you have any proof?” asked the lawyer.“Nope,” replied the man.“Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you,” said th
A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay upWhat should I do?”“Do you have any proof?” asked the lawyer.“Nope,” replied the man.“Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you,” said th
22.
The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”The man replies, “And how would you do that?”The woman says, “Just wait and see.”She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?”The woman replies, “I'm
The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”The man replies, “And how would you do that?”The woman says, “Just wait and see.”She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?”The woman replies, “I'm
23.
There was once a great actor, who had a problem.
He could no longer remember his lines.
Finally after many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.
The director says,”This is the most important part, a
There was once a great actor, who had a problem.
He could no longer remember his lines.
Finally after many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.
The director says,”This is the most important part, a
24.
A man walks into the front door of a bar He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.The bartender politely informs the man that it appears he has already had plenty to drin
A man walks into the front door of a bar He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.The bartender politely informs the man that it appears he has already had plenty to drin
25.
A man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred.The doctor asked the man,“Do you smoke or drink?”“No,” he replied,“I've never done either.”“Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women? ” inquired the doctor.“No, I've never do
A man asked his doctor if he thought he'd live to be a hundred.The doctor asked the man,“Do you smoke or drink?”“No,” he replied,“I've never done either.”“Do you gamble, drive fast cars, and fool around with women? ” inquired the doctor.“No, I've never do
26.
Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school
He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town.
He really wanted to impress everyone
He opened his new law office, but busin
Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school
He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town.
He really wanted to impress everyone
He opened his new law office, but busin
27.
Two math professors are in a restaurantOne argues that the average person does not know any math beyond high school.The other argues that the average person knows some more advanced mathJust then, the first one gets up to use the rest room.The second prof
Two math professors are in a restaurantOne argues that the average person does not know any math beyond high school.The other argues that the average person knows some more advanced mathJust then, the first one gets up to use the rest room.The second prof
28.
The bartender says, “Let me see and I'll consider it.”So the guy reaches into his bag and pulls out a miniature piano and a hamster. The hamster sits in front of the piano and starts playing. And not just banging out “Chopsticks”, the hamster is plays C
The bartender says, “Let me see and I'll consider it.”So the guy reaches into his bag and pulls out a miniature piano and a hamster. The hamster sits in front of the piano and starts playing. And not just banging out “Chopsticks”, the hamster is plays C
29.
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard.I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head.He then followed me into my house, slowly walked d
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard.I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head.He then followed me into my house, slowly walked d
30.
One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnantNot wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage,he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the childIf she stayed in Italy to raise the
One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnantNot wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage,he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the childIf she stayed in Italy to raise the
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