1.
…something this girl knew all too well.One day a 12-year-old girl was walking down the street, when a car pulled up beside her and the driver lowered a window.“I'll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car,” said the driver.“No way! Get lost!” r
…something this girl knew all too well.One day a 12-year-old girl was walking down the street, when a car pulled up beside her and the driver lowered a window.“I'll give you a large bag of M&Ms if you get in the car,” said the driver.“No way! Get lost!” r
2.
A farmer had five female pigsTimes were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them:At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigsAfter talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.The farmers
A farmer had five female pigsTimes were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them:At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigsAfter talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.The farmers
3.
… when an older man in the crowd was heard saying, “PeanutsPopcornCracker Jack.”Castro didn't break his stride but a few minutes later, a second voice was heard but with the same message, “PeanutsPopcornCracker Jack.”This time the Bearded One seemed momen
… when an older man in the crowd was heard saying, “PeanutsPopcornCracker Jack.”Castro didn't break his stride but a few minutes later, a second voice was heard but with the same message, “PeanutsPopcornCracker Jack.”This time the Bearded One seemed momen
4.
Three drunken guys entered a taxi after a heavy night of drinking.
Immediately realizing that the men were inebriated,…
Cab driver quickly thought up a plan to get rid of them.
He started the engine, turned it off again and said:
“We have reac
Three drunken guys entered a taxi after a heavy night of drinking.
Immediately realizing that the men were inebriated,…
Cab driver quickly thought up a plan to get rid of them.
He started the engine, turned it off again and said:
“We have reac
5.
In Mexico City, the 200 meter final was runAmerican (black) athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos came first and third, while Australian (white) Peter Norman won the second.While they were waiting for the medal ceremony, Carlos came to Peter Norman and as
In Mexico City, the 200 meter final was runAmerican (black) athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos came first and third, while Australian (white) Peter Norman won the second.While they were waiting for the medal ceremony, Carlos came to Peter Norman and as
6.
A chicken farmer went to the local barHe sat next to a woman and ordered champagne.The woman said: “How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne.”“What a coincidence,” said the farmer, who added, “It is a special day for meI'm celebrating”“It is
A chicken farmer went to the local barHe sat next to a woman and ordered champagne.The woman said: “How strange, I also just ordered a glass of champagne.”“What a coincidence,” said the farmer, who added, “It is a special day for meI'm celebrating”“It is
7.
A married couple are out one night at a dance club.There's a guy on the dance floor giving it large: break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.The wife turns to her husband and says,“See that guy? Twenty years ago he proposed to me and I turned h
A married couple are out one night at a dance club.There's a guy on the dance floor giving it large: break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.The wife turns to her husband and says,“See that guy? Twenty years ago he proposed to me and I turned h
8.
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar.After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively,“Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” She responds by yelling, at th
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar.After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively,“Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” She responds by yelling, at th
9.
A young seminary student went home for Christmas break.A horrible snowstorm stranded the regular minister in another town.The leaders of the congregation asked the young man to substitute for the regular minister.The young preacher started his sermon by e
A young seminary student went home for Christmas break.A horrible snowstorm stranded the regular minister in another town.The leaders of the congregation asked the young man to substitute for the regular minister.The young preacher started his sermon by e
10.
He couldn't decide how to split them between Adam and Eve, so he thought he might just as well ask them.“I've got two things for you, but you'll have to decide who gets what. The first thing is the ability to pee standing up…”Adam interrupted, “Oh please
He couldn't decide how to split them between Adam and Eve, so he thought he might just as well ask them.“I've got two things for you, but you'll have to decide who gets what. The first thing is the ability to pee standing up…”Adam interrupted, “Oh please
11.
This man wanted to get out of jury duty, so told the judge thisHe tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked.On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot.As the trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the be
This man wanted to get out of jury duty, so told the judge thisHe tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked.On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot.As the trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the be
12.
A middle aged guy and his teenage daughter were riding a motor bike and taking a shortcut through a darkened park when they were stopped by a gang of muggers.
They searched them and took the guys wallet, his watch and the motorbike but couldn’t find an
A middle aged guy and his teenage daughter were riding a motor bike and taking a shortcut through a darkened park when they were stopped by a gang of muggers.
They searched them and took the guys wallet, his watch and the motorbike but couldn’t find an
13.
Einstein Had To Speak At An Important Science ConferenceOn the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:“I'm sick of all these conferencesI always say the same things over and over!”The driver agrees: “You're rightAs your driver, I attende
Einstein Had To Speak At An Important Science ConferenceOn the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:“I'm sick of all these conferencesI always say the same things over and over!”The driver agrees: “You're rightAs your driver, I attende
14.
One day Nasreddin Hodja quarrelled with his wife.He shouted at her till she could not bear it and fled to her neighbour's houseThe Hodja followed her there.The neighbours managed to placate the angry husband and served the couple tea and sweetmeats.When t
One day Nasreddin Hodja quarrelled with his wife.He shouted at her till she could not bear it and fled to her neighbour's houseThe Hodja followed her there.The neighbours managed to placate the angry husband and served the couple tea and sweetmeats.When t
15.
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwichThe barman looks at him and says, “Hang on! You're a duck.”“I see your eyes are working,” replies the duck.“And you can talk!” exclaims the barman.“I see your ears are working, too,” says
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwichThe barman looks at him and says, “Hang on! You're a duck.”“I see your eyes are working,” replies the duck.“And you can talk!” exclaims the barman.“I see your ears are working, too,” says
16.
A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner.
This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervou
A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner.
This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervou
17.
If you let me touch your wife’s ass and smack it, i will pay you $100,000 says a guy to his best friend.
His friend gets furious and asks him to mind what he is saying.
Later in the evening the best friend tells this incident to his wife, and she go
If you let me touch your wife’s ass and smack it, i will pay you $100,000 says a guy to his best friend.
His friend gets furious and asks him to mind what he is saying.
Later in the evening the best friend tells this incident to his wife, and she go
18.
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.The fairy says “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day.”The professor says “I'll be an elementary school teacherWhat can be so hard abo
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.The fairy says “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else's job for a day.”The professor says “I'll be an elementary school teacherWhat can be so hard abo
19.
A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police.“For example.” he said, “when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold w
A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police.“For example.” he said, “when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold w
20.
This Man's Wife Wouldn't Let Him Go Camping With His FriendsThen This HappensA few days before the group's annual departure date, Jack's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.Jack's fishing buddies are very upset that he can't go, but what
This Man's Wife Wouldn't Let Him Go Camping With His FriendsThen This HappensA few days before the group's annual departure date, Jack's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.Jack's fishing buddies are very upset that he can't go, but what
21.
A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day.That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of a ten point buck.“Where's Henry?”“Henry had a stroke of some kindHe's a couple of miles back up the trail
A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's for the day.That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of a ten point buck.“Where's Henry?”“Henry had a stroke of some kindHe's a couple of miles back up the trail
22.
A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?”
The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made..”
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question..
The father answered, “
A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?”
The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made..”
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question..
The father answered, “
23.
A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table.His wife asks, “Do you know her?”“Yes,” sighs the husband.“She's my ex-wife.She took to drinking right after we divorced seven
A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table.His wife asks, “Do you know her?”“Yes,” sighs the husband.“She's my ex-wife.She took to drinking right after we divorced seven
24.
Dog’s Letters to God
Dear God:
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom smell one another? Where are their priorities?
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Excuse me, but why are there cars nam
Dog’s Letters to God
Dear God:
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom smell one another? Where are their priorities?
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Excuse me, but why are there cars nam
25.
He starts dialing numbers on his hand, like a telephone, and talking into his hand.The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here.The guy says, “You don't understandI'm very hi-techI had a pho
He starts dialing numbers on his hand, like a telephone, and talking into his hand.The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here.The guy says, “You don't understandI'm very hi-techI had a pho
26.
A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing.Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:“Before you leave, I want you to hear how thi
A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing.Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:“Before you leave, I want you to hear how thi
27.
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty.He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when a loud cried out:“Jesus is watching you.”Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.“Jes
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty.He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when a loud cried out:“Jesus is watching you.”Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.“Jes
28.
… and said to him, “Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.”The art collector replied, “I've had an awful day; let's hear the good news first.”The attorney said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000
… and said to him, “Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.”The art collector replied, “I've had an awful day; let's hear the good news first.”The attorney said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000
29.
… but his Father explained that with the boys' Mother just losing her job, and their £80,000 mortgage, there was no way that such a gift could be afforded.The next day, the man saw his son packing his suitcase, and said,‘C'mon, Son, it's not that bad, we'
… but his Father explained that with the boys' Mother just losing her job, and their £80,000 mortgage, there was no way that such a gift could be afforded.The next day, the man saw his son packing his suitcase, and said,‘C'mon, Son, it's not that bad, we'
30.
A man goes to see the Rabbi. ‘Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.’
The Rabbi asked, ‘What’s wrong?’ The man replied, ‘I’m pretty sure my wife is poisoning me.’
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, ‘How can
A man goes to see the Rabbi. ‘Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.’
The Rabbi asked, ‘What’s wrong?’ The man replied, ‘I’m pretty sure my wife is poisoning me.’
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, ‘How can
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