1.
An atheist became incensed over Christmas holiday preparations.
He filed a lawsuit about the constant celebrations given to Christians and Jews while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the l
An atheist became incensed over Christmas holiday preparations.
He filed a lawsuit about the constant celebrations given to Christians and Jews while atheists had no holiday to celebrate.
The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the l
2.
“Follow me son”, the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of peopleThe father added, “First, we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.”And they did.“Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times w
“Follow me son”, the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of peopleThe father added, “First, we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.”And they did.“Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times w
3.
They decide to meet for tea and discuss their lives.The first older lady starts telling the second about all the wonderful things her husband has done for her over her life. “See this big ol' ring right here on my finger? My husband bought me that, beca
They decide to meet for tea and discuss their lives.The first older lady starts telling the second about all the wonderful things her husband has done for her over her life. “See this big ol' ring right here on my finger? My husband bought me that, beca
4.
A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream,“Where did you get that truck?!” He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”“With what money?” demanded his parents.They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche
A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream,“Where did you get that truck?!” He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”“With what money?” demanded his parents.They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche
5.
This is the letter that the man wrote to his wife:Dear Wife,I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you foreverI've been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for itThese last 2 weeks have been hell…Your boss called to
This is the letter that the man wrote to his wife:Dear Wife,I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you foreverI've been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for itThese last 2 weeks have been hell…Your boss called to
6.
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard.I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head.He then followed me into my house, slowly walked d
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard.I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head.He then followed me into my house, slowly walked d
7.
A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist.
He says to his friend, “That’s amazing.
How did you get that?” The man pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish
. He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smo
A man walks into a bar and sees his friend sitting beside a 12-inch pianist.
He says to his friend, “That’s amazing.
How did you get that?” The man pulls out a bottle and tells him to rub it and make a wish
. He rubs the bottle, and a puff of smo
8.
He slid into bed, kissed his wife on the cheek and fell into a deep sleep.He awoke before the Pearly Gates.StPeter said, “You died in your sleep, Ralph.”Ralph was stunned. “I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!”StPeter
He slid into bed, kissed his wife on the cheek and fell into a deep sleep.He awoke before the Pearly Gates.StPeter said, “You died in your sleep, Ralph.”Ralph was stunned. “I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!”StPeter
9.
Jerry is the manager of a restaurant. He is always in a good mood.
When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply: “If I were any better, I would be twins!”
Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jo
Jerry is the manager of a restaurant. He is always in a good mood.
When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply: “If I were any better, I would be twins!”
Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jo
10.
An old guy approaches the window of the movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets.
The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him.
He replies, “Well, my pet chicken, of course!” “I’m sorry,” The girl tells
An old guy approaches the window of the movie theater with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets.
The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him.
He replies, “Well, my pet chicken, of course!” “I’m sorry,” The girl tells
11.
The boss is finally old enough to retire from the company.On his last day of work, he ordered a farewell party for himself.The boss wanted everyone to express their good feeling about him by writing on the farewell card,So later he could remember how his
The boss is finally old enough to retire from the company.On his last day of work, he ordered a farewell party for himself.The boss wanted everyone to express their good feeling about him by writing on the farewell card,So later he could remember how his
12.
However, they arrived several hours early, and had little to do on Sunday morning while everything was closed.“Well,” one says to the other, pointing to a nearby Cathedral, “Why don't we attend Mass?”“Sure,” replies his friend“But we don't know how the Fr
However, they arrived several hours early, and had little to do on Sunday morning while everything was closed.“Well,” one says to the other, pointing to a nearby Cathedral, “Why don't we attend Mass?”“Sure,” replies his friend“But we don't know how the Fr
13.
The Queen and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they’ll be admitted to heaven.
Unfortunately, there’s only one space left that day, so St. Peter asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why she shoul
The Queen and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they’ll be admitted to heaven.
Unfortunately, there’s only one space left that day, so St. Peter asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why she shoul
14.
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north.
The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read.
One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap.
The wife decided
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north.
The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife preferred to read.
One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap.
The wife decided
15.
The manager picks up, and a man asks in a formal tone:“Good morning sir, might I ask, at what time does your fine establishment open?”“Well,” replies the manager politely, “We're closed this Christmas Eve, so we won't be opening today.”“I seeThank you for
The manager picks up, and a man asks in a formal tone:“Good morning sir, might I ask, at what time does your fine establishment open?”“Well,” replies the manager politely, “We're closed this Christmas Eve, so we won't be opening today.”“I seeThank you for
16.
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father.He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.After a few minutes, Larry asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?”His father replied
Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father.He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.After a few minutes, Larry asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?”His father replied
17.
Bill Gates goes to purgatory.
St. Peter says, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things.
Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go”.
First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women
Bill Gates goes to purgatory.
St. Peter says, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things.
Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go”.
First, St. Peter shows Bill an image of Hell with beautiful women
18.
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things.“Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” He asked his mother.“He thinks a lot” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things.“Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” He asked his mother.“He thinks a lot” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to
19.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?”“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.“Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?” I
20.
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee.His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly.“That's it! No butte
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee.His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!”Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly.“That's it! No butte
21.
There was an old man who had a dream one night that he would be protected from a ravaging storm that would engulf his whole village.The next day, as expected, a terrible storm came to his region.The first day a neighbor of his offered help for him to flee
There was an old man who had a dream one night that he would be protected from a ravaging storm that would engulf his whole village.The next day, as expected, a terrible storm came to his region.The first day a neighbor of his offered help for him to flee
22.
Most people know me, but don't know my story.At the age of 3, I watched my father leave.I attended four different high schools and struggled with dyslexia, making my education more challenging than it is for most.Eventually I left high school without earn
Most people know me, but don't know my story.At the age of 3, I watched my father leave.I attended four different high schools and struggled with dyslexia, making my education more challenging than it is for most.Eventually I left high school without earn
23.
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman.
The general replied “1956, ma’am.”
The woman, in disbelief said “1956?!
That long? Come with me and let me make your night better.”
The woman and general went back t
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman.
The general replied “1956, ma’am.”
The woman, in disbelief said “1956?!
That long? Come with me and let me make your night better.”
The woman and general went back t
24.
Grandpa and his 7-year-old grandson are gardening when to boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.
He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.”
“I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t,” says Gramps.
“It’s too wiggl
Grandpa and his 7-year-old grandson are gardening when to boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.
He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.”
“I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t,” says Gramps.
“It’s too wiggl
25.
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a “manager”. The questions are not that difficult.1-How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe an
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a “manager”. The questions are not that difficult.1-How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe an
26.
Three men are sitting on a park bench, enjoying the weather and bragging about their wives.Saw nothing the first day.The first man, tool, married a woman from Kentucky, and told her in no uncertain terms:“When I get back from work, I want the house to be
Three men are sitting on a park bench, enjoying the weather and bragging about their wives.Saw nothing the first day.The first man, tool, married a woman from Kentucky, and told her in no uncertain terms:“When I get back from work, I want the house to be
27.
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking marijuana and appeared in court.
The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, I’d like to give you a second chance.
I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug us
Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking marijuana and appeared in court.
The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, I’d like to give you a second chance.
I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug us
28.
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.“So, what is it?” grumbled the governor.“Judge Garber has just died” said the att
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency.An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.“So, what is it?” grumbled the governor.“Judge Garber has just died” said the att
29.
This was an actual conversation that took place between my wife and my 7 yr old son just now.
My wife has been teaching my son to fold his own laundry but he complains about it every time.
My wife, trying to convince my son, said to him “If you pick
This was an actual conversation that took place between my wife and my 7 yr old son just now.
My wife has been teaching my son to fold his own laundry but he complains about it every time.
My wife, trying to convince my son, said to him “If you pick
30.
The librarian handed the chicken a book and the bird left.Ten minutes later, the chicken returned, tossed the book on the desk and said: ‘book, book, book, book'.The librarian handed the chicken a different book and the chicken left.Ten minutes later, the
The librarian handed the chicken a book and the bird left.Ten minutes later, the chicken returned, tossed the book on the desk and said: ‘book, book, book, book'.The librarian handed the chicken a different book and the chicken left.Ten minutes later, the
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